I cannot heal you with my love but I can love you while you heal.
Healing must be your main focus.
Be willing to heal for you, not others. Be aware that others can and will benefit from your healing.
Loving is easy, it’s the battles that we have to fight within ourselves to let true love in that’s hard. When loving another it feels as if we may always be fighting with them not realizing we’re only fighting ourselves. Personally fighting our own battles and demons that we project on others. Making the lover seem like they are the bad guy. Pushing all of our pain outward birthing dramatic experiences that has nothing to do with the person that we’re pushing them on.
Truth is is that if we all delt with our own internal issues before opening our space to others we would see and experience the beauty, fun, joy, and happiness of love. But it’s not always that simple and easy. I’m a true believer that life will use us to help others see themselves and grow through their experiences. And there are times that we need others to see ourselves so that we can gain wisdom while growing through our experiences.
To live and love isn’t a one man party.
Love has never been the problem so love has never hurt anyone. Love is what it seems like we are afraid of but those that are afraid of love are really afraid of self. So many times we have allowed pain to enter that we confuses it with love. I often times wonder if others are really causing us pain or showing us the pain that we already possess. Showing us who and what we are buried deep beneath the surface.
Because it’s love that we are lacking and love we are seeking love becomes the blame. All while love itself is still innocent. The fact that we often confuse painful connections for love we allowed it to enter our safe haven. Then later we become hurt by it once again claiming love has hurt us again. So it’s us and our decision making that we are afraid of not love. It’s the brokenness in us that attracted the brokenness in another. This is the painful connection that most people fall in love with. The sad truth is is that many are already broken, we are hurt, we are torn and living in pain expecting love to come and rescue us.
Looking for love in another isn’t the answer. It’s finding that love within self that will help us save ourselves. All of our healing powers are tucked away into this little jewel box placed deep in our souls.
Love reflects beauty and the beast. It has it’s beautiful and ugly side. If we all get to know our own beast realizing our brokenness, our traumas, our pains, or our weaknesses we can then find it in our lover. Most people are afraid of themselves and their own truth so they stay tucked away. We must be vulnerable enough to know who we truly are, and accept it, but still be willing to grow. It’s harder to see others if we have not yet seen ourselves. The little lies that we tell to ourselves is what prevents us from seeing ourselves. Like that woman that’s always saying “I don’t need a man.” I can guarantee you she’s stuck at a place in her journey or the men that’s always screaming “women ain’t shit!”. They are all trapped and will remain stuck until they see themselves as the issue and deal with self.
Once being aware of the internal damages together the 2 must be willing to heal and grow through their own pains. This is how we can grow from the beast into beauty. It’s not that pain can’t find love, pain must be opened and willing to heal. Love should bloom like a beautiful flower garden and smell delightful but first we must pluck out the weeds that no longer belong there. Be willing to water the seeds and cater to the soil. Remembering that flowers doesn’t bloom overnight.
It’s not that we’re not capable of loving or being in love once broken. We must gain awareness of our own problems and strategize on how to heal so our problems doesn’t get pushed off onto our lover. Two damaged lovers can dig a deeper love if they’re willing to learn from each other and grow through their traumas relieving themselves of old pain. Creating a space of healed, healthy, happy love that can truly be felt and feel magical. Learning to release and heal together rather than fighting and running from themselves and each other. When fighting another it’s really a fight with self that goes unnoticed. Once again pushing all that built up pain outward onto an innocent bystander.
Through my own experiences I’ve realized that others are needed for us to grow through these traumas, pains, and weaknesses. So even though it seems wonderful to runway attempting to be alone and do it all alone, it’s almost impossible. It’s the experiences that another will bring that will show us ourselves and where the work is needed for mental, spiritual, and physical growth. It’s not all about running away but actually dealing with the war that’s in front of us. No man can run forever. At some point he must self realize and be willing to put in the internal work.
Hurt people create a wall and their hearts are harden and sheltered. This wall and harden heart prevents one from feeling. They become disconnected from their true self which could possibly be the reason they are experiencing so many bad experiences with love. The heart has the most beautiful connection to our natural lifeline. Once disconnected then what?? If someone blocked you off from experiencing life how would that make you feel? Imagine being pinned down or cornered in. It’s not a good feeling. The average person will fight to escape until there’s no more fight left. Now imagine the blockage around a heart that’s designed to give and receive love. That wall blocks the natural flow of things and while they think they are protecting themselves by keeping others out they are trapping themselves in. Creating a closed in space and suffocating fom within. Slowing dying internally until they are taken from this physical plane of heart complications. Suffocating in all their lies, pains, traumas and so on. They are afraid of trusting and loving, living in fear of love. Love is not to be feared because it’s a healing tool if and when used properly. The one fear one should have is not healing to give and receive love.
Let’s clean our internal space of old residue so we can feel love and truly love again.